A Phillie Teacher

I was a starry-eyed teacher from New Jersey. Now I work for Philadelphia Public Schools.

Off her meds

Posted by aphillieteacher on October 7, 2010

I had a student in class today who’s been off her medication for the past 6 weeks (Mom? Mom? are you in touch with your child . . oh! you let her move in with her cousin! I see)

she was always difficult to say the least. Today, I was ready to quit. I was FURIOUS at the way she treated me/acted, how the weak students of the class joined in, how the quiet, real students just stood by and let it happen.

How dare people send their kids to school when they aren’t fit to cope?  or let others learn?

On top of that, our security police would not come to the classroom. I called THREE times for help. The non-medicated student laughed and said “See, nobody’s gonna come, bitch.” and she laughed.

Gee what fun to work here. No support from parent, from police, from administration, from anybody.

they do not pay me enough


5 Responses to “Off her meds”

  1. JJ said

    Yesterday I was ready to quit and today I’m only thinking that I’ll push it a little farther out.

    I don’t think I can take another year of high anxiety, low sleep, weight loss (easy weight loss for the first time ever in my life!), constant thoughts of school, students, tests, how to make up work for students, how to stay on schedule AND meet everyone’s needs, how to just get through the days without my head exploding, the “it wasn’t me!” and the “it’s toooo much,” the needs I see and can’t meet because there’s not any time or energy left, the hundreds of little demands — none of which is difficult or too time-consuming until multiplied by the sheer number of them, the last minute notice that changes schedules and plans while my plans and schedules aren’t supposed to change…

    Tired. Very, very tired and feeling like the fight isn’t getting me or the students anywhere. Also feeling like the constant state of stress is going to paralyze me when I end up with my body moving in 100 different directions at once.

    And today wasn’t as bad as yesterday. ;-p

  2. JJ said

    Heh. Wrote an anguished comment about truly considering quitting on here this evening, but must have somehow not gotten it posted. Is it a sign? Or is it a sign that I’m up at this hour having awoken at 2:34 am and once I’m awake, the thoughts of everything I should/could do prevent me from falling back to sleep.

    This job is not consistent with having any sort of other life. It is however an excellent weight loss aid for me. 10 pounds since school started. Same 10 I lost last year (and regained in the summer). Stress as a lifestyle, hmmm. I wonder if the healthy weight outdoes the damage of the constant feeling of adrenaline coursing through my body?

  3. JJ said

    Well shoot, there it is now — didn’t show up for me before, must be because of the moderation? You’re welcome to ditch two of these three posts (or heck, all three for that matter!)

    • Is there a way for you to delete a comment you wrote? You decide which one/s you want to delete but I think they should all stay.

      You’re right about the stress and anxiety. I wake up every night around 3 a.m. and the wheels of my brain start turning. I am very anxious.

      I don’t know how it is at your school, but not only are the kids tough on us, it seems our administration – Superintendent and cronies – are playing a game of “gotcha” with our staff.

      If you *sneeze* wrong, you get written up. If the “Do Now” isn’t on the board when they walk in, written up. Let a kid in the door after the bell rang, written up. On the *district* level. Permanent files!

      Ten pound lost in less than two months? not good. Have you looked into getting some anti-anxiety medication? That’s what got me through my first year in this school district.

      If we teachers don’t take care of ourselves, no one else will.

  4. JJ said

    Yeah, the thought of having to medicate myself to deal with a job is pretty horrifying. Not against medication at all, but honestly, jobs shouldn’t make you so consistently stressed like this!

    And yes, the administration is the same way. There’s always something wrong, always something more you could be doing. I was pretty sheltered last year, but this year with a new young principal, there’s no hiding from it. Also, the insane last-minute demands. Uhhh, we can’t lose a minute of instructional time but you can demand our time, prep or class, for your activity? Hmmm.

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